Cancun Crazy Part 4 (of many)

Oops, how did a month go by! Sorry to keep you in suspense.....

So yes, the professional futbol player.... we encountered him after eating at the lively La Distileria. Cilla and I were sitting at the hotel bar, no longer speaking to bartender Bernie because we had involuntarily given him an insane tip (I believe we paid $80 on a $50 tab for which we expected change back but he conveniently disappeared....probably to lock it up in his personal safe). We had been having sort of a dry patch of eye candy in Mexico....due to the fact that we were staying at the tamest resort ever since this was not an all inclusive resort. In fact the only people getting any sort of use out of their flirting skills at this resort were preteens and teenagers, who were rampant in this family vacation haven. Observing awkward tweens "talking" was not my idea of a crazy Mexican vacation!

Finally our second night in we discover that an entire team of professional futbol players were staying at our hotel! We were highly entertained by this. I'm not sure if they were actually an attractive group, it's hard to objectively determine because I was too distracted by my "testosterone drought" theory. You see, when you haven't come across ANY males your age in a while, I am pretty sure that any male close to his 20s becomes attractive. Single girls need to see that there are single men out there on a regular basis just to sustain themselves. Otherwise, we will think it's the end of the world and then bad decisions will start to ensue. For example, that's the only way I can explain Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. It's kind of like dieting, you can't just cut out all the treats or else the second you come across any treat you will devour it and regret it later. Same goes with guys, I need some eye candy. I just want to know they are still out there so that I can stick with my diet of finding the "right" guy. I digress....

Anyway, while we are observing these futbol players, Cilla notices that there is one next to us. This one is actually the Patrick Dempsey of futbol players, or in terms of my personal preference, the James Marsden of futbol players. He's got the perfect bone structure, great hair, deep insightful eyes, and perfect posture. He seems extremely polite as he talks to what Cilla has decided is his elderly coach and the coach's grandson. The way our imagination is going with this he might as well have earned a Nobel Peace Prize, be captain of his futbol team, volunteer with the elderly, and have the ability to speak all the romance languages. (In reality, who knows.)

This whole time we are building up what has now become a fictional prince charming in cleats and Umbros, Cilla is formulating plans to strike a conversation with him. We literally have no game here, and no reason to talk to this fella except for the fact that we are desperate for some flirty fun. She comes up with all sorts of reasons like, "perhaps I should offer to take a picture of him and his friends." I vetoed all of them for the mere fact that I wasn't even buzzed enough to really play wingwoman with these stretch pickup lines. Nonetheless, leave it to the mastermind of Cilla to find the perfect way to speak to the guy. Some how she perfectly timed our exit and elevator ride with the tall, dark, and handsome athlete. In the 20 second window of opportunity she had to make her move, she did a fabulous job bewildering him by speaking Spanish to him. Although nothing came of it (because he is a perfect gentleman and probably doesn't ask girls out after knowing them for 45 seconds), I was glad she made the move because all in all we found out that he really was the polite person we picked him out to be.....and he really did have insightful eyes! That encounter held me over for the rest of the trip in Mexico. The rest of the time we worked on trying to perfect our tans and stay out of trouble :)