I've been collecting some rules to live by to have a well lived life. In my mere 5 years of being of drinking age (of course I wouldn't dare drink before 21), I have some wise words to pass on:
- only drink sodas when there is alcohol in it, otherwise it's a waste
- headache? nothing a beer can't cure....
- go easy on the sugary drinks, instead add floaters
- if you feel a cold coming on, add some champagne to that OJ just in case, you'll thank yourself later
- boring date? order the vino and you'll soon forget
- if the drink comes with a cool cup or too many pretty accoutrement's (hello paper umbrellas), that's probably the best it has to offer, pass and rely on the trusty grape of which you do know the alcohol content
- the key to life is base tanning (aka pre drinks)
- a good hostess will never let her guests realize how many glasses they have drank through constant refilling
- one word that brings both men and women joy: bottomless
- become friends with the bartender(s) and they will never leave you
- the great thing about homemade frozen drinks is that there is a lot you can hide in there
- J-E-L-L-O is not just for kids
- you can only have the day or the night, chose one wisely and spend that time well!
- happy hour is not limited to one hour and CAN last until 2am
- in the morning, start out with 50/50 OJ and champagne and ease yourself into small proportions of OJ and great proportions of champagne because frankly, you don't need to be drinking that much OJ in one sitting
- it's okay to take 1,000 pictures during a night out, that's good journalism
And of course, be safe and make wise decisions. A real lady knows how to push her boundaries while still looking adorable and without ending up in jail, youtube, or even worse the hospital.
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