"you're going to make some man very happy some day"

Preface: this is a very sarcastic comment from a coworker.

Why?

Well, I possess a lethal combination of traits, a condition I have named MADS (Morning person with Ambition but also Deep Sleeper). Let me describe the typical behavior of a MADS person, how they get to this point, and what you should look for. MADS people are very very chipper and excited to be awake in the mornings. Once they are awake they love their time in the morning, are very social, and this is the most exciting part of their day. They are even energetic enough to work out in full force. Please note the key to knowing if you are MADS is the phrase once awake. You see someone with MADS is such a deep sleeper that it takes them quite a while not to wake up but to actually HEAR the alarm go off. I believe the deep sleeping and the ambition components of MADS are mutually exclusive. You see MADS people are so ambitious, always trying to fit more things in the day, that they don't budget enough time for sleeping which means they are severely sleep deprived and sleep quite heavily through the night.

Why is MADS such a tricky condition to live with? Well, being such deep sleepers MADS people often are not even aware of their alarm going off because they have trained themselves to shut them off and continue into their deep sleep. In fact, because of this most people with MADS have to set multiple alarms. As a MADS individual myself, I set around 7-9 each night. These are often set up in different categories of 15 min intervals, listed below:

• Ambition time alarms: the time I wish to wake up in enough time to go to gym
• Contingency time alarms: set for the time frame I would need to wake up, shower, and show up presentable to work without working out
• Oh Shit time alarms: last minute alarms for in case the first two sets failed I would have enough time to throw on clothes, brush my teeth, and be a little late to work

To make matters worse, I have unintentionally trained myself to just completely shut off alarms and not even give snooze a chance. At certain points in my life I have had to set multiple physical alarms in several different areas of my room (and sometimes inside the closet) to where I would have to walk up and turn the alarm off. Even then not all of those alarms would wake me up. My mom frequently would have to give me wake up calls in college because I was the queen of cramming for tests up until the last minute and attempting all nighters. (There is the ambition part again....I used to think that I needed to spend every waking minute studying for upcoming tests.) Also, at one point when I was attempting to make it to a 5:30am spin class three times a week, I hit some record highs (or you might classify them as lows depending on your outlook) and snoozed at times through 2 hours of alarms going off every 15 min.

So, there you have it. I am about to go to bed and I have just set my usual alarms on my iphone. The times I have been setting this week are 5:45, 6, 6:10, 6:15, 7, 7:10, 7:15, and 7:30am on my iphone and then I also set up a back up mechanical alarm for 5:55am (still wanting to get that gym time in). This morning I slept through all of them up until 7:15. This condition usually only lasts on the weekdays. On the weekends I voluntarily get up quite early in a hyper state ready for an exciting day ahead!! Sorry future hubby :)