Advice to the Dudes: Places You Should Not Try To Pick Up a Girl (If you are looking for your future wife)

I felt called to write on this topic as I walked the hallways of the scary deserted dungeon that is the parking garage in my office building tonight. This evening my fear of the dark shadows of this parking garage after hours reminded me of so many encounters I have had with males whose welcoming intentions only caused me to walk faster in the opposite direction in terror.

Here is a list of places you should not even think to or try to pick up a respectable girl at:

- Parking garages, parking lots, and while driving on the road: Trust me, any girl with a head on her shoulder is going to think you are about to mug her, no matter how good looking you are. She probably has her fingers wrapped around her can of mase as you approach her.
Side note story: Once while driving from college to my home town, I was stuck in a traffic jam that was not moving. A guy in a tall truck inched towards my car...I could see his driver window creeping up on my passenger window. Then he unrolled his window and was trying to talk to me. I mean, come on.....I'm not your soul mate, please don't make this any more awkward because I have no where else to go!!! I'm stuck here!

- In the bathroom area of a bar when the bathrooms are unisex or if you just caught her leaving the men's restroom because she was that desperate to pee. Trust me....this is just WAY too awkward.

- While in her apartment (lets say you are visiting her roommate) and she is inside her room with the door shut. Trust me, talking about me while you know I am in my room is not going to make me come out any faster and throw myself in your arms. Once again, don't hit on girls when they have nowhere to escape.

- On Facebook, if you have friended her and you have never even met one another. Your odds here are extremely low. It's not going to work unless you are extremely hot and have multiple pictures to prove it.

- In her apartment, if you are the maintenance guy.....this goes back to the whole lack of escape option for the girl and also the fact that you probably have a key to her apartment.

- At the dry cleaners, if you are the dry cleaner employee and you are making suggestive comments about her clothing


Well these are all the ones I can think of right now. I feel like I am missing a few. I might have to do an additional post to this one.

Here's one last gem of information that I can share with you: Whistling or yelling at a girl as she walks across the street is also not going to get you anywhere with any girl you would want to call your wife some day. What kind of reaction do you expect to get from a girl after you yell at her? I'm an intelligent person, and I just don't get it. How is she supposed to respond? Is she supposed to turn around, drop at her feet, and beg for you to take her out because you so impressively WHISTLED at her?? Please, if you have something of value to add to this.... please do!