Bachelorette is a Universal Idea

Hello party people! So, I've been living in London for two months and this is what I've learned so far:

• British people have an amazing ability to substitute beer for the two dinners I usually require between the hours of 6pm to 3am, I still can't figure it out;
• Light beer is not real beer;
• 24 hour liquor licenses does not mean the pubs stay open all night, they still close at 11pm/midnight but then the clubs open up;
• and a hen party in the UK = a bachelorette party in the US

So, two months in I attended my very first hen party. When I found out the theme was Hollywood glamour I was immediately excited!

And the traditional bachelorette shenanigans ensued...

The lovely bride to be and her beautiful cake!

Oh, and I must not forget there was a stage....and some how Fun Bobby ended up on stage....with a man dressed as Amy Winehouse.

I'm not sure why I was told to go on stage, but once it was my turn to be ridiculed by the Amy Winehouse look alike, it was all downhill from there. He asked me why I was at the bar that night, and after my response he promptly said, "Is that an American accent I detect...?" Haha. He then went on to ask me a very long winded question and somewhere between the closeness of his microphone, the amount of wine I had that night, and the speed at which he talked he lost me. When he finally ended his question I just stared at him blankly and told him I had no idea what he just said. He then kicked me off the stage for not understanding British.

15 minutes of fame down in flames.

Friendships Worth Crossing Oceans For

Hello. So I realize I've been MIA for a while.....let's just say a lot has changed since my last post in July. I'm sure most of the people who read this blog already know, but if there is anyone out there who doesn't, I am moving to London in roughly ONE WEEK. Yes, the United Kingdom...where I hear people drink more than eat and bars stay open until 4am...which during the summertime I think is also when the sun rises. Who knows what adventures await me across the pond! It will be a big life change, but I am ready for it. Don't worry though, I will be keeping you updated on my adventures and crazy encounters along the way....and since I'm so far, I hope to be updating a lot more than I have been in 2010!



While London is a very exciting destination, I know I am leaving a place that truly has some of the best people in the world. I am so fortunate to have the best group of friends a girl could hope for, and it is very hard to leave the group. However, I know that we will still remain close and visit one another because these are friendships worth crossing oceans for!



My bffs all got together to give me a going away party at Bar Belmont, where there is a beautiful view of the downtown skyline. They also have drinks like the Southern Belle and TreeTini that were quite enjoyable. :) It was a truly great night just to be in one another's company one last time for a while and like all nights together, it was memorable one, but not the last!

I really would not have had some of the best times of my life if it were not for these girls, and Fun Bobby definitely would not exist without them! Thanks for being so great, all of you! :)



As I look onward to London, I can't help but look back to the last time I made a big move and the friends that I met then, that led me to today :)



Three years ago I moved to Dallas to start my first fulltime job. At my first day of work in orientation, I was one of the few tax people in a room full of auditors. At one point, I sat down next to one of the few people I knew, Kristin, at a table full of audit girls I had never met. The girl next to me was Mitzi.....and some how (I forget) this led me here..... (circa 2007)

I'm so thankful the audit girls included the one tax girl at their happy hours!! There have been many parties, hair cuts, jobs, weddings, laughter, inside jokes, and girls dinners. These have definitely been the best three years!!

Swoon with me

This past weekend I saw MICHAEL BUBLE. Yes, Michael Buble- the man I plan to sing at my wedding when I marry Prince William (or really any prince). This is totally realistic.

And also can I say, SWOONWORTHY. This is my absolute favorite picture from the whole night. We had FLOOR seats for only $89. It was pretty much awesome and meant to be! Let me just say that the very second he started singing....well, I pretty much melted right there. I really think as a single girl it's unfair that I have discovered both Edward Cullen and Michael Buble before getting married. I'm pretty much screwed.

Well the night was perfect even though I had to share Michael Buble with 10,000 other women and his fiance. At the end he sang without his mic and you could hear him almost perfectly....he is amazing!!

For the first time in my life.....

....I wished someone was high.


I know that sounds bad but this morning at Starbucks I was startled to see that the cashier had the most blood shot eyes I have ever seen. It was painful to even look at him. I am a major germaphobe and am terrified of getting an eye infection (because there is no way I'm going to replace all of my Chanel makeup!)....so I really hope that was from him giving himself a little pick me up before work this morning. I am suspecting it's a possiblity because when I gave him my money he typed in the wrong amount and he forgot the answer I told him to a question and reasked me the question. Needless to say I Purelled myself good after he handed me my change!

But really, who needs weed when you work at a coffee shop?

I'm glad we are on the same page.....er.....boat

Monday morning can be a drag. However, I knew this was going to be an eventful week when one of my first emails of the week was a forward from Mitzi about our Fourth of July plans to go on a party boat on Lake Travis. The first sentence read, "I hope y'all are excited about the July 3rd Party Boat- it should be quite the adventure with lots of drinking and making out." This totally sounds Fun Bobby-esque....can't wait!

Business Casual? Always Prepared....

So a while back I had a problem with passing out in my bedroom, fully clothed in the clothes I had worn the night out, with all of the lights on. I'm not sure what caused this chronic condition- I was probably overworking myself (not going to extended happy hours....) I recently was reminded of this old habit of mine the other weekend when I woke up at 6am to find myself in my going out clothes with my face peeled onto an open book. Yes, apparently I was trying to read a book at 2am while slightly intoxicated....most normal people drunk text or call people...I was reading....it was even a nonfiction book.... I am very educated!

I remember one of my favorite times that I realized I had fallen asleep. This time I discovered I had passed out when the fire alarms started blaring in my apartment. My first reaction was that I must have done something really bad when I was drunk! Then I realized the fire wasn't in my apartment. On my way out of the apartment I realized three things: 1) I was still in business clothing from the day before 2) I was totally parched and 3) I really wanted to hurl. Nonetheless my survival instincts kicked in and I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. Err....turns out I was the only one who had a good time the night before because I was the only one still fully dressed with makeup and all! I mean it was a Thursday night, these people just don't have fun. I also realized that a lot of the residents in my building don't actually sleep at their home.....

Well, I was feeling so sick that I knew I had to distract myself. I also think I was still a little drunk. So, I plopped myself down next to some girl and just started chit chatting (mainly talking to myself) to keep myself distracted from the fact that I was really having a bad reaction from my indulgences of the night. Everything turned out okay in the end- there was no fire in the building, I looked GREAT while sitting out there compared to the other losers in their pajamas, and I was able to take off my makeup and change into pjs and get a proper night's sleep....or what was left of it.

Fun Bobby and Friends in Full Force

Have I mentioned that I have the greatest friends in the world? (See below)

This weekend the Dallas and Houston gang met up in South Padre for Mitzi and Danny's wedding- and we all knew this was going to be one crazy fun event!! And it turns out it really was crazier than any of us could have imagined! You really had to be there to appreciate the full effects of the weekend, but I will provide you with some highlights.

Here is the lovely couple that made this weekend possible!!

To start, we once again had an awesome hotel bar filled with oldies but goodies! This time there was no karaoke, but there was a live band....who I think has dedicated their mission to Lady Gaga. The lead singer had choreographed moves as well as different sunglasses for every song. The audience had just as much character- there was even an old lady who would dance by herself as if the night was never going to end!

At the wedding Mitzi's parents hired a mariachi band and it was pretty entertaining!

There was also one particular wedding guest, who really turned the party into something else!

Here he is at the after party....with a pony that he found?

......and here he is being confronted by hotel security LOL.

Fun Bobby was out in full force that night, as promised, and I definitely danced as much as possible to my heart's content. Unfortunately my hangover wasn't as impressive as I hoped it would be the next day....I should have partied harder in honor of Mitzi and Danny.

When we got to our hotel at 2am, we were not allowed in because there were several cops guarding the entrance saying that it was a crime scene!! We didnt' get much information out of the cops, but we did see the culprit walk out in hand cuffs. He had some blood on his face, and it looks like they tasered him. Not sure what the deal was, but there was no ambulance or anything. Since we were all drunk and bored of waiting, we got a little creative with our waiting.....

Here are the girls pretending to get arrested. Not sure where I was because I have no memory of it but I think that green in the lower left corner is me haha.

And here are the guys trying to get arrested....but they weren't doing a good job because they have smiles on their faces.

We eventually were allowed in the hotel while they were still photographing the "crime scene." We still can't figure out what exactly happened because things looked pretty normal. A few minutes after Kiki and I had gotten to our room, I heard some noise in the hallway. To my surprise the police were photographing a hotel room right across the hall from us!! Scary!!

After we survived the night, we woke up ready to hit the road to the airport. I packed the things in the rental car and shut the trunk door. 0.5 seconds later I realized that I shut the trunk door with the keys in it!! I was definitely freaking out, and lucky to have people there to calm me down. We call a local locksmith and he arrives pretty quickly. However, it takes him 30-40 minutes to figure out how to unlock the car. During this time he tells us about how he locked his own car while on another job and how he left a very important tool on yet another job. His credibility as a locksmith was rapidly dropping. Eventually we did get off the island.

I wouldn't have expected anything less from the weekend of the Sierra-Tsukahara wedding!!

Love you guys!!

Hawaii Moments: Korean To Go

Like all great trips, my Hawaii one quickly came to an end. The plan was to grab dinner on the way to the airport, but it was a pretty tight schedule. After getting lost to get pho, we decided to grab anything we could find on the way. So....I chose some random Korean BBQ place. It was 5 o'clock and the restaurant was just opening. We were definitely the first ones there.

When we were seated we were very upfront about the fact that we had less than 30 min to eat and get out of there. We asked for whatever would be the quickest thing on the menu, which turned out to be fried rice and noodles. The waitress made it seem like for the noodles we would only be able to get vegetables with it, which was totally fine. However, right after establishing this she asked us if we wanted some seafood meats with it haha. I'm not sure when scallops and shrimp became a vegetable but apparently they did. The fried rice turned out to be excellent! The noodles on the other hand, were very gross. They were basically straw-like dry noodles in a not very tasty brown sauce. We ate pretty much all of the fried rice and picked at the noodles. The wait staff had been so concerned about our noodle dish though, they really wanted to make sure we got it and liked it. So, in an effort to not make them feel bad, Ryan ordered a to go box. While filling it up I pointed out that there was a fly on the bottom of the box he was filling up with food. His response was basically, "I'm not too worried about it," because he was planning on throwing it away when he got home LOL. Thanks for all the great stories!

Hawaii Moments: Making the Blog

I am a terrible blogger- but I am attempting to finish the rest of my Hawaii series. So, during the trip we decided to kayak from Kailua beach to the Mokulua islands. It takes about an hour to kayak out there and once you get there you can park your kayak on the beach and partayyyy as long as you like. It’s basically like an exclusive party island (exclusive in the fact that only those willing to trek on the kayak ride can enjoy the benefits of the island). So with high hopes we packed our bag full of beer and set off for the high seas. The kayak ride was very fun, although I am not sure how much I really contributed to our journey. When we got to the island, there was a gorgeous view of the coast of Oahu (see below).

















The party scene wasn’t quite what I was picturing. I’m not sure why I kept envisioning MTV Spring Break style partying considering it was 11 am….and we were on a semi-remote island. Anyway, we definitely brought the party with us. Cold beers on the beach…this was turning out to be the quintessential vacation!




















Two or three beers later….we pack up to head back to Oahu. This part of the trip was going to be easy. The current would just carry us towards the island, and it really was helping us cover the distance quickly. We weren’t very far from the island when we hit a really big wave, which we attempted to “surf” on with the kayak. It didn’t really help that we were in a pretty shallow area where the reef was pretty close to the surface of the water. It probably also didn’t help that we were a little buzzed from our indulgences in island drinking. In what seemed like two seconds the front of the kayak hit the reef and our whole kayak toppled over in the waves!! Our reactions to this “emergency” situation were pretty interesting. Ryan asked if I was okay, and once that was confirmed, also asked, “IS THIS BLOGWORTHY??” Hahaha! He was determined to get into this blog with some kind of crazy story. Well, you definitely made the blog! My first reaction was to grab his $4 mat that he had brought with him- probably the cheapest thing on the boat. Meanwhile my sunglasses were sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Ryan offered to dive down to get them, but I’m glad we both decided that would be a bad idea! He also very kindly bought me a new pair (which you really didn’t have to!!) Missing sunglasses, minor scrapes, and a hilarious story- all in all, I would say we survived the kayak crash pretty well!

Hawaii Moments: Life Lessons on the Rock

One of the things on my bucket list for Hawaii was to go on a cool hike. This was definitely fulfilled......




















.....when we hiked to the top of this peak!! We hiked the first of three peaks, which I think takes 3 miles to get to the first peak (which is also the highest of the three). It was really intense and awesome. There were parts where we even had to rock climb (see below).

I learned some valuable life lessons during this hike: always have three points of contact, take it slow, and be sure to rest. I think these can all be applied to real life.

This is the VIEW we were blessed with when we got to the top. Totally worth all the hard work, and we don't look tired at all.

Ryan is just relaxing at the top, such a breeze.

Luckily this event was injury free. Unlike the kayak trip I will speak of in a future blog post. Have I mentioned yet that Ryan has had more near death experiences in Hawaii than anyone I can think of in the past 9 months?

Hawaii Moments: Sea Turtle Day

From Day 1 of the trip, Ryan kept raving about how often he saw sea turtles in Hawaii. I had always thought they were fragile, endangered species that could only be seen at wee hours of the morning but the way he kept talking about them, he made them sound like they were as easy to interact with as obnoxious birds! Well, every time we were near the beach there was not a sea turtle in sight. In my opinion too, it seemed like most of his stories started with "One time, I saw a sea turtle here....." I finally told him to shut up haha because I hadn't seen a single turtle my first three days there (not even at TURTLE bay)!

Finally by the third day he had declared it sea turtle day and no matter what we were going to find one. We finally found ONE while kayaking....it was marvelous, I think it was a lighter color than I expected. It was really awesome, it was just swimming along and it came up for air every 2 min or so. It looked really happy too. I really liked this sea turtle. :)

Stay tuned for the story about when we crashed said kayak....and the sunglasses I lost which are at the bottom of the ocean where we saw the sea turtle. I hope the sea turtle remembers me every time he sees those sunglasses.

Hawaii Moments: Gay Party Bus

My blogging has sucked until recently in part because I keep escaping to the beach. Yes, I also went to the island of Oahu, Hawaii in the past month. Yup, I'm a lucky girl with back to back awesome beach vacations.

The thing that made Hawaii possible was a gift of miles from my parents and having a generous friend who lives there. I went to go visit my friend Ryan who is usually my east coast/DC tour guide. This time my visit was in a much different setting!
















I was excited for the trip because I was going to be able to see Hawaii the way the locals do. For my first night out, we headed to China Town for First Friday, which is when a bunch of galleries open up to the public after hours and drinking is encouraged. Cabs to get downtown are normally around $25 each way, so it can get pricey. Ryan had found this awesome deal where we could get transportation by a bus and two free drinks: one drink at a karaoke bar by Waikiki which is where he lives and one drink at a bar downtown by the galleries. He did warn me that he had never done this before, so it would be a new experience for both of us. Well, we get to the karaoke bar meeting spot which is in an "alley." The bar is really tiny and the main thing I notice is that we are definitely the youngest people there by at least 1 or 2 decades. However, it seemed like a fun group, and I knew we were getting a great deal. It wasn't until we got onto our bus that I noticed the obvious that I should have: everyone else on the bus was gay! I didn't realize this until I noticed that the pairings on the bus were all male pairs. There were only two other women on the bus....but they were together. I am sure Ryan and I painstakingly stood out! Also, our bus included paparazzi free of charge. I can't tell you how many pictures this photographer took of us, but I think it might be safe to say about a dozen photos were taken....all of which will be published in a magazine there Odyssey Magazine. (note: you might not want to click on this link if your boss is around) HAHAHA. Um Ryan, I am not sure if you have googled this but....from the looks of this website I don't think our picture together is going to get in there. If it does, I will probably be cropped out LOL. Let's just say during our time with this group I definitely felt like the least popular person there!

We downed our second beer in a bar that ironically played Texas country music and ditched the bus group. I got to explore the heart of Hawaii's night life, where Honolulu's greatest go to have their own blogworthy nights. I saw a lot of interesting art, all pretty much inspired by the islands. One thing that surprised me about the bars there is that they weren't too far from the ones in Dallas or any other part of the U.S. When I was packing for the trip I was worried I wouldn't have enough "Hawaiian" dresses, but all of these people were dressed to the nines. Good thing I mostly own a "Dallas" wardrobe so I fit in.

Other memorable portions of the night were witnessing a Mullet party. These guys were so good that for a second I did wonder if any of the mullets were real. I still do not understand why there was a mullet party and where these guys were going with their mullets. Another interesting person I encountered was what I called the "entrepreneur pool player." This bold dude came out of no where alone and approached our group trying to get himself into a game of pool. He succeeded and then beat Ryan (sorry). I truly believe he was also a very insightful individual. Even though I didn't think he really noticed much of me since I wasn't in on the pool game, he randomly came up to me and imparted words of wisdom, "be careful around those army guys." The entrepreneur pool player will always have a warm spot in my heart, cool guy.

Thanks Ryan for signing us up for that bus, very blogworthy!

The Last Bachelorette Days of One of the Greatest

Since I am so late in posting, I have not had a chance to write about Mitzi's bachelorette party that happened a month ago at Lake Travis. Have you ever been to a bachelorette party where you ate more than you drank? Haha I think this was my experience, but I think I enjoyed it more! I arrived hours late to the festivities due to work, but when I got there I came across six very drunk and amusing friends....who promptly made me (tone deaf girl) sing karaoke with them.

Here is a picture from Ashley's camera of a very sober me trying to join in the chorus with my drunkie friends :)

Mind you at this bar we were setting off the average age by an entire generation. There was a sweet old man who kept hitting on us and then sang a very slow and unentertaining song that we didn't know the words to, then there was a middle aged guy that kept obnoxiously requesting lady GA GAAAAA, and a very drunk woman who really wanted to be in the spot light but really should have been kept in the dark. However, a guy in his late 40s did send a free drink to me at the table, so I'd call that a successful night.













The next morning, no one was really feeling great from the night before, but I (having not gotten drunk that night) was ready to get the party started! I poured out mimosas (there weren't really any takers on that) and was ready to go to our planned winery trip. It was great- I had a sophisticated reason for drinking booze before noon. The overall weekend was perfect: lounging, story telling, and junk food eating! Can't wait for Mitzi to tie the knot in a month!

The Evolution of a Single Girl at Work

This morning on my 1.7 mile drive to work I thought about how my work life has changed over the past three years of working.....and how it has gone from playground to lame! When I first started working, it was a new and exciting world. I was in a new city, I was a "professional," I had just bought a new car, a new apartment, and it was new and different to dress up like a grown up. My first year out of college most of the time felt like pretend. I was just getting used to the routine with no realization of long term goals or what the next 40 years of my life would be like. And there were men, lots of young single men! At times it definitely felt like a playground. I was meeting a bunch of new people, and there was always a distraction. I have a very thirsty mind and it naturally gravitates towards the immediate things that interest me. There were "work crushes" and "work boyfriends" which made work distracting and fun! However, in the past few years either due to attrition, age, or wisdom, there are literally zero males to distract me at work. My mind was forced to channel all of its excess energy on my job. Remarkably, my work performance has dramatically improved during this time. Now I actually have focus and a stable future ahead of me. Go figure. I'm not sure if this is a better thing in terms of the fun department but I do suppose I am heading in the right direction. Besides, I am glad my social circle rarely crosses paths with work now. C'est la vie.

Health Rules to Live By (prescribed by Fun Bobby)

I've been collecting some rules to live by to have a well lived life. In my mere 5 years of being of drinking age (of course I wouldn't dare drink before 21), I have some wise words to pass on:


- only drink sodas when there is alcohol in it, otherwise it's a waste


- headache? nothing a beer can't cure....


- go easy on the sugary drinks, instead add floaters


- if you feel a cold coming on, add some champagne to that OJ just in case, you'll thank yourself later


- boring date? order the vino and you'll soon forget


- if the drink comes with a cool cup or too many pretty accoutrement's (hello paper umbrellas), that's probably the best it has to offer, pass and rely on the trusty grape of which you do know the alcohol content


- the key to life is base tanning (aka pre drinks)


- a good hostess will never let her guests realize how many glasses they have drank through constant refilling


- one word that brings both men and women joy: bottomless


- become friends with the bartender(s) and they will never leave you


- the great thing about homemade frozen drinks is that there is a lot you can hide in there


- J-E-L-L-O is not just for kids


- you can only have the day or the night, chose one wisely and spend that time well!


- happy hour is not limited to one hour and CAN last until 2am


- in the morning, start out with 50/50 OJ and champagne and ease yourself into small proportions of OJ and great proportions of champagne because frankly, you don't need to be drinking that much OJ in one sitting


- it's okay to take 1,000 pictures during a night out, that's good journalism


And of course, be safe and make wise decisions. A real lady knows how to push her boundaries while still looking adorable and without ending up in jail, youtube, or even worse the hospital.

Fun Bobby Randoms (I have a lot of random thoughts)

Some people at work have commented on my email signature which includes my full name (first middle last) because it looks as if I am married and am including my maiden name in my emails. However, there is a strategic reason for why I have my full name written out- because I don't want to shock people. :) Yes, I am worried about shocking people with my appearance. The reason is because if you have never met me and you see my name, you will be picturing a totally different person. You see, I'm half Japanese, which is very confusing for many people because my name is as generic as "Jane Smith." (I drew a diagram below in case you are still confused about how this works.) However, my middle name is a Japanese name. So out of consideration of others, I give them fair warning by including my full name "Jane Yoko Smith." Pretty strategic business right there people!

Cancun Crazy Part 6 (of many)

The Departure

Five shades and three bottles of sunscreen later, our Cancun trip had come to a close. Cilla and I were definitely leaving looking like distressed vacationers (I was severely burned and in need of ibprofen for the pain). Jessica on the other hand had a smaller delta (change in skin tone) thanks to her Neutrogena SPF 55. More power to her though as she'll probably outbeat us all in looks when she gets older and skin cancer. Cilla and I bought a bottle of sunscreen at the hotel since we had gone through all of our reserves, which ended up costing something crazy like $47. I guess it was worth it to protect ourselves from further cancer damage, but in the short term it's hard to think that way.

At the end of our trip we take a private shuttle to the airport. On our way there we realize that we are not sure what gates we will be leaving from. Cilla and I are on the same flight and Jessica is on a flight to Chicago on a different airline. Of course, our fears were confirmed that Jessica would be departing from a different terminal and we would have to part ways much earlier than expected. The driver drops Cilla and I off at our terminal, and we have to leave Jessica to be driven to the next terminal over. Of course no one is happy in this situation given our disturbing arrival to this country. Jessica, having just found this all out, is especially distraught. We all hug goodbye but Jessica is definitely silently freaking out and can barely smile. Hoping for the best, we go our separate ways. After Cilla and I go through security we are walking around the duty free shop when Cilla starts getting texts from Jessica asking where we are at. Jessica has a lot longer to wait than we do for her flight and we worry that she will start getting bored and start to wander, which is definitely not good given her recent airport experience! Luckily Jessica assures us that she is going to stay put and everyone makes it home safe with no detours with the authorities. What a great trip girls, thanks for the memories!

Cancun Crazy Part 5 (of many)

Awkward Dinner

Travel Lesson: I like to follow the masses

So not only do I like to see multiple tourists on local buses in Mexico, but when eating dinner I also want to see many tourists enjoying the fare. Otherwise, I start to worry.....

Our last night in Cancun we decided to treat ourselves to a nice dinner. We decided upon a restaurant that was very fancy and definitely looked like a tourist attraction. Well when we got there....picture crickets chirping......we were the first (and only) customers. I already started getting nervous. This isn't a good sign of enjoyable food.


I do commend this place on having high aspirations because they were extremely overstaffed. There were many waiters loitering around our table. It made it really uncomfortable to even really enjoy the company of one another in our group when the waiters seemed to be staring at us. Cilla took this picture of Jessica and the waiters in the background for full effect.

As a gesture of hospitality the waiters brought over some kind of concotion in shot glasses. However, these weren't friendly alcoholic drinks. These were something disgusting like juiced cucumbers or something that should never be in liquid form. Since we were surrounded by waiters we couldn't even dump them out off the deck to feign appreciation. Needless to say I guess the waiters got the hint when they collected the barely touched juices. Mixologist Bernie could have taught the chef a thing or two at this place.

One plus is that we did have a fantastic view of the lagoon at sunset

The food also was subpar, although the presentation was fabulous. Honestly, even looking at the picture of what I had (the shrimp in the middle) is bringing back bad memories!

Cilla's seared tuna


My shrimp with guacamole



Jessica's shrimp

By the time we left it was pretty late in the evening (9) and there was only one other table of diners. We definitely learned that Cancun is not the place for fine dining. The next time, we'll be going back to La Distilleria where they get it all right: tequila, food, and fun!

Cancun Crazy Part 4 (of many)

Oops, how did a month go by! Sorry to keep you in suspense.....

So yes, the professional futbol player.... we encountered him after eating at the lively La Distileria. Cilla and I were sitting at the hotel bar, no longer speaking to bartender Bernie because we had involuntarily given him an insane tip (I believe we paid $80 on a $50 tab for which we expected change back but he conveniently disappeared....probably to lock it up in his personal safe). We had been having sort of a dry patch of eye candy in Mexico....due to the fact that we were staying at the tamest resort ever since this was not an all inclusive resort. In fact the only people getting any sort of use out of their flirting skills at this resort were preteens and teenagers, who were rampant in this family vacation haven. Observing awkward tweens "talking" was not my idea of a crazy Mexican vacation!

Finally our second night in we discover that an entire team of professional futbol players were staying at our hotel! We were highly entertained by this. I'm not sure if they were actually an attractive group, it's hard to objectively determine because I was too distracted by my "testosterone drought" theory. You see, when you haven't come across ANY males your age in a while, I am pretty sure that any male close to his 20s becomes attractive. Single girls need to see that there are single men out there on a regular basis just to sustain themselves. Otherwise, we will think it's the end of the world and then bad decisions will start to ensue. For example, that's the only way I can explain Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. It's kind of like dieting, you can't just cut out all the treats or else the second you come across any treat you will devour it and regret it later. Same goes with guys, I need some eye candy. I just want to know they are still out there so that I can stick with my diet of finding the "right" guy. I digress....

Anyway, while we are observing these futbol players, Cilla notices that there is one next to us. This one is actually the Patrick Dempsey of futbol players, or in terms of my personal preference, the James Marsden of futbol players. He's got the perfect bone structure, great hair, deep insightful eyes, and perfect posture. He seems extremely polite as he talks to what Cilla has decided is his elderly coach and the coach's grandson. The way our imagination is going with this he might as well have earned a Nobel Peace Prize, be captain of his futbol team, volunteer with the elderly, and have the ability to speak all the romance languages. (In reality, who knows.)

This whole time we are building up what has now become a fictional prince charming in cleats and Umbros, Cilla is formulating plans to strike a conversation with him. We literally have no game here, and no reason to talk to this fella except for the fact that we are desperate for some flirty fun. She comes up with all sorts of reasons like, "perhaps I should offer to take a picture of him and his friends." I vetoed all of them for the mere fact that I wasn't even buzzed enough to really play wingwoman with these stretch pickup lines. Nonetheless, leave it to the mastermind of Cilla to find the perfect way to speak to the guy. Some how she perfectly timed our exit and elevator ride with the tall, dark, and handsome athlete. In the 20 second window of opportunity she had to make her move, she did a fabulous job bewildering him by speaking Spanish to him. Although nothing came of it (because he is a perfect gentleman and probably doesn't ask girls out after knowing them for 45 seconds), I was glad she made the move because all in all we found out that he really was the polite person we picked him out to be.....and he really did have insightful eyes! That encounter held me over for the rest of the trip in Mexico. The rest of the time we worked on trying to perfect our tans and stay out of trouble :)

Serious People Who Make Me Laugh

I don't know why there are comedians that get paid because you don't have to look far to find humor. Just start a full time job with a bunch of accountants, and you'll find plenty of humor. I've never been surrounded by such a diverse group of weirdos, but they are especially hilarious when they are being serious. This is what I found at the client's breakroom today....you can't even make this stuff up.


In case the picture isn't clear enough for you to read, it says:

"MISSING

Any information regarding the whereabouts of this loaf of bread would be greatly appreciated. It was last seen on the counter in the 18 Main kitchen Tuesday afternoon around 2:30 PM"

HAHAHHAHA

Then there is a very detailed picture that I'm assuming the person googled of the loaf of bread. You can see that it is Pepperidge Farm Sourdough. I will admit that this is a more expensive brand of bread.

Apparently the woman who posted this is being completely serious. One of my coworkers saw her posting it up this morning and she was very upset about the whole situation. Little did she know that by some act of kindness, someone had stuck her loaf of bread in a drawer in the fridge. One of my other coworkers posted a note to the sign to inform her of this.